So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
