Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
