He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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