Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
