I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
