If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the night ended with taco bell and tears
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
false alarm, still single
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
