Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
