Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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