I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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