I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
