Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
