You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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