The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
