Nicole vs. Life
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
