i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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