Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
