phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
