yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
