After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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