Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
