eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
