We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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