This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My vagina just recognized that song.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
