i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
