Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
