I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have feelings that need drinking.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
