Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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