So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
