8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
