And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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