any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
