her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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