I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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