ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
