your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
