He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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