North Korea, Best Korea!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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