Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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