so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
