Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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