i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
