I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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