i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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