where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Life without a bra equals bliss.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
