I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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