I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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