I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
