It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
