its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The air was thick with penises
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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