It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
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I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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