im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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