i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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