Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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